so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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