my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
