For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
