That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
