I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
