Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
