I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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