You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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