oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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