oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
