My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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