I need help removing her.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
