i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize