what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
