Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
