Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
