I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
