Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
