but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
