My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
