Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
