You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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