Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize