So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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