he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
