It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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