oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
