Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
