You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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