as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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