let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
