haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
