Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
