My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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