just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
