The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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