69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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