I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
