At least make sure they are 18
Why
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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