Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
