cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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