Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So vagazzling was a success
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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