Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
