dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
