I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
