I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
