You're so nebulous sometimes
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
