tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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