matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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