Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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