last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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