i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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