omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
