I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
