You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
