JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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