Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize