Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
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